Thursday, July 16, 2009

My crack addiction confession

So, as many of you know, I have struggled with crack addiction for many years. It started when I was about 17. I've had a few gaps of sobriety over the years, but overall my addiction has gotten progressively worse.

When I got pregnant with Ryker I knew I had to quit. I talked to my Dr. about it, and she agreed. With my baby as my motivation I was able to quit cold-turkey. I am proud to say I didn't use crack during my entire pregnancy. I thought I had kicked the habit for good.

But, when I stopped nursing I quickly fell into my old ways. When I fell, I fell hard. I found myself not only using socially, but I actually began purchasing it myself and using at home alone. I felt terrible, but I thought I wasn't hurting anyone other than myself.

It doesn't help that so many of my friends and family are also addicted. They're always flaunting it in my face! I always give in.

When I found out I was pregnant again, I thought I'd be able to just stop cold-turkey again. I did, for about three months, but I'm embarrassed to say that I've slipped a few times since. The last time I used crack was this week. I told myself it would be the last time ever, but I'm scared that I won't have the strength to be strong.

By the way...my crack is Diet Coke.

6 comments:

Jamber said...

Sorry I am one of the family members who is addicted! I can't stop!

Family said...

I have the same problem. I stopped while I was pregnant. But then I became sleep deprived as soon as I delivered, and fell back into my old ways. Avery is now sleeping through the night. So I am going to quit. I am down to one a day. Today I have only had 1/2 one. Tomorrow I am hoping not to drink any.

Momma P said...

Maybe you should stop buying it and putting it in your garage for your junky Mom. Also, I thought you were doing cocaine-free crack now anyway.

Mommy of 5 Amazing Kiddos said...

If crack can help keep the baby zombie do it what is the worse of two evils. hahaha just kidding!

Mommy of 5 Amazing Kiddos said...

keep zombie baby away
sorry for the error

Peaceful Mommy Kayleen said...

LOL... I was freaked out when I first read this. Which I'm sure was the point. My crack is Oreos.